Theexoticmom’s Blog

January 28, 2009

not enough coffee in the world for this!

Filed under: Uncategorized — theexoticmom @ 10:43 am

So, my son gets me up like a half an hour ago (5 AM).  Are normal people even up at 5 AM?  What, with no job, I’m just not sure anymore.  Anyway, I fell asleep on the couch last night-glad it’s comfy-and he gets right in my face, freaks me out, and is like, “Mom, Roxy (our new boxer puppy) took a crap on my floor!”  My husband neglected to put her in her crate last night (we are crate training her) and she went in my son’s room and crapped on the floor.  Of course, he can’t clean it up.  I can’t see anything cuz I just woke up.  Glad I didn’t step in it.  So, I get up and clean it up and put her in her “house”.  Of course she knows WHY she’s in there, cuz I told her “bad girl” and she rolled over on her back, put her feet in the air, and looked at me like, “What???  It’s not my fault he didn’t put me in my house!”  Geez, of ALL the things to be woken up too.

The other night, yes I know I’m going backwards, forgive me, it’s 5:30 AM. . .

I called my husband to let him know I was on my way home from Edythe’s house (the little old lady I take care of every five days) and I called his cell.  Well, my son picks it up.  You know how 13-14 year-old’s voices change.  So, Austin picks it up and I think it’s Chris.  He answered Chris’s phone and it sounded just like him!!!  So, I’m talking to him for like a minute and then he giggles and I’m like “OK, where’s your dad?  Get off Dad’s phone!”  I told my husband I was glad that I didn’t start talking dirty or something.  That would have just been weird and gross!  Kids, sheesh.


January 23, 2009


Filed under: Uncategorized — theexoticmom @ 5:43 pm

Still have no job.  No prospects.  No leads.

another day, but no dollar

Filed under: Uncategorized — theexoticmom @ 5:43 pm

I’m back.  Be afraid.  JK.  I wonder how men can find anything without women??!!

My daughter and her drama continues.  She finally got to go back to Jukido after a 2 month hiatus.  Check us out at this URL:

It’s a great progam and my kids have learned a lot from Sensei George Rego.  I encourage any parent or child (cuz he has adult classes, too), to check them out if they live in the Daytona/Palm Coast/ St. Augustine area.  It’s worth it.  He is a GREAT sensei.  Speaking of which, his Jukido Master and Sensei, Shihan Paul Arel, recently passed away on January 2.  He was the founder and Jukido master for over 50 years!  Amazing!  Prayers and help for his family are appreciated.

So, back to Kate’s drama.  Her bookbag broke AGAIN.  This is like the 4th one this year. And we are only halfway through the school year for crying out loud!  Then, she proceeds to tell me that since she went to Jukido last night, she didn’t do her Science vocabulary sentences (which she got an extension for) because she was too excited over going back to Jukido this week.  BS if I ever heard some. I really think that she thinks parents were NEVER kids.  Good God, does she really think I never tried that crap on MY mom?  Right????

So, last night, I know I digress, my son, Austin, says hey mom I forgot to call Michaela (a good friend from school) tonight.  I told her I’d call her.  Ok, this was at 9:30 pm.  So, I’m like, are you crazy? You can’t call her now.  Just see her at school tomorrow.  Then, he tells me that they were going to talk about him going to her house this weekend.  The catch is…can he sleep over!!! I’m like WHAT? Did I hear you right?  WTF?  You are barely 14 years old, I don’t think it’s a great idea.  So, he says, but mom, Jack (her dad) really wants me to show him how I make breakfast on the weekends.  Mind you, he only knows how to make scrambled eggs, cereal, toast, and instant oatmeal.  What can he possibly make other than that?  heehee and LOL.  SO, instead of freaking out, I told him I would talk to his dad about it and he could call her after school with an answer.  Wow, her parents are more liberal than I am.  Guess I am still a little over-protective and want to keep both of my kids out of potentially serious situations.  Call me crazy!

January 21, 2009

No toilet paper

Filed under: Uncategorized — theexoticmom @ 11:11 pm

Why do men avoid putting toilet paper back on the thingy that holds it?  I put a new roll on the back of the toilet on purpose so no one will have an excuse.  But, if there are like 4 sheets on there-that is enough for your butt no matter what.  I must do that-oh forget it, I’m the only one who does it, who am I kidding??

I had a headache, laid down, and got rid of it.  I got up, checked my Facebook, and my husband comes walking in.  I get a hard look from him.  I’m like what?  He goes, “I’m freezing!”  So, I thought to myself-self, if that was me, I would have waited until it was warmer to work on the shed, but, no, he’s a martyr.  SO, I was like, it’s your dumb ass that was out there!  LOL

today is pretty lame

Filed under: Uncategorized — theexoticmom @ 4:21 pm

Really nothing to look forward to.

I was thinking about something my brother said a little while ago and it made me think of my son, Austin.  Backstory on our conversation?  Nudism-I know, right?  Anyway, my son talks to me a lot.  When he was born, in Germany, my husband was in the field a lot.  I saw him like a total of 18 mos during his 3 year tour there.  So, it was just Austin and me for a long time till the Army retired him.  So, he’s getting hair on his “you know” and there was an ingrown hair or something like that.  More backstory on my oldest–he’s got ADD/HD and OCD.  He’s like, “Moooooooooom!!! Come here!”  Of course, I think he’s dying or bleeding or some such crap–NO!  It’s just him freaking out.  So I’m like what’s wrong?  I turned my back for like a second to close his door to his room so I could find out what was going on and when I turned around, he had already whipped “it” out and was trying to find the tiniest little dot that was bothering him.  Glad he talks to me, but geez louise!  I was like-put it away dude! I don’t have a penis, but I am guessing that it is just an ingrown hair.  But, he wanted me to look at it more closely and tell him for sure.  I went and got his father!

I also remember the time when we were going shopping at Ross in Daytona for the evening about 2 years ago.  My daughter has to go to the bathroom constantly when we are out somewhere-so, needless to say, we know every rest stop and business with a bathroom from Jacksonville to Daytona Beach.  So, my son, who needed clothes badly at that point got some at Ross.  So, some petty jealousy reared its ugly green head and Kate (that’s my daughter) says she needs some, too.  Mind you, we are running out of space for all her crap!  But she still needs more.  So, we told her NO-about a dozen times-maybe more.  We are getting ready to leave and she like, “Gotta go potty!”  So I told her to go.  Not the smartest thing to do, cuz she did when I had my back turned.  Right there!  So she says, “Now, I need some new clothes!”  Mwuhaha…Mom strikes again-she sat in her pee-soaked clothes a half hour til we got home.  That taught her the power of MOM!  LOL

They always do stupid crap like that to me.  Don’t your kids?

January 20, 2009

Another day…

Filed under: Uncategorized — theexoticmom @ 10:06 pm

Well, haven’t written in a while.  I have a Facebook now.  Wow! Ain’t technology great?  😛

I just found out I was going to be an Aunt again.  I am really happy, but the first thing out of my mouth was “Was it on purpose?”  Guess my little sister just shocked me again-and just when I thought I couldn’t be shocked.  Probably another nephew on the way.  Just can’t get get a niece from ANYONE!  What is it with the Males in this freakin family?  My daughter, Kate, is the only granddaughter on my side of the family!  She’s gettin lonely!  But seriously folks, I am soooo excited!!!

It was so cold today and I ran errands, felt like sleepng when I got home-then, I couldn’t sleep cuz the house was so empty and quiet with everyone in school (hubby started back today, too) so I chatted with my sister who wanted to sleep too.  She said she couldn’t because her youngest (4 yrs old) was awake and who knows what HE would do.  Yeah, we ALL know kids like that, right?  She would have woken up to peanut butter in her hair or him hanging off their balcony.  Yep, he’s a good one that boy!

My daughter comes home from school and is like, “Mommy, can I go to Jukido? Can I? Can I? Cn I?  You promised I could go back this month!!!”  Like I don’t know what I said.  I was like, “SHUT UP already!”  I AM NOT DEAF!  And your mother has left the building.  So, her dad just took her.  No mouth for like two hours.  She talks from sunup to sundown!  Gimme a break child.  Sometimes I just ask her for five minutes-just five, so I can hear my own self think.

And now I gotta go.  Husband is up my arse trying to get me out of the house to go next door-pushing me out.  I’ve been looking for a job and the lady next door works for a company down the road.  I was going to talk to her yesterday but my head was killing me, so I didn’t go.  Now my husband is up my behind telling me to get out or be like a hermit.  He just left the house and called me like 2 minutes after he left to yell at me and tell me this.  Needless to say-I hung up!  Butthead.

January 18, 2009

Do you ever wonder?

Filed under: In General/Random Stuff,Uncategorized — theexoticmom @ 11:58 pm

Do you ever wonder about . . .

  1. How some people are alive?  I sure do.  I mean really, how do some people breathe everyday without being told to do it?  Thank God breathing is pretty much an involuntary thing people do NOT have to think about!
  2. Why more teachers are not fired because they CANNOT teach!  How do you justify telling a kid they are stupid and dumb and still keep your job?  Unreal!
  3. How husbands manage to FIND anything!  “Honey, have you seen my  [insert what they are looking for]?”  And I want to be such a smart ass about replying, but I have to catch myself, I really do.  I just want to reply with something like, “Yeah, since my foot went from a size 6 1/2 in women’s to a size 10 in men’s overnight, I left them in the garage after I wore them.”  Or, “Yeah, since I use your drill on a regular basis for random crap around the house, I left it in the bathroom where I was hanging stuff!”  Or how ’bout, “Yeah honey, I know where your belt is, cuz the last time I wore it was that party we went to last weekend.  Remember how nice I wanted to look?  Your belt really made the outfit!”  COME ON.  Really?  Look for it yourself for once.
  4. How people look you in the face and lie like a dog!  Call me old-fashioned, but I really hate liars!  Maybe that’s why I really don’t like people (in general) cuz they suck!

Well, I guess that’s all for now.  It was just on my mind.

Hello world!

Filed under: Uncategorized — theexoticmom @ 8:56 pm

Hello there!  My name is Shelli and this is, well, this is a first in my life-writing for other people to see.  Not used to other people caring what I have to say, let alone reading it on line.  Anyway–after talking to my mom and my sister, and I talk to them frequently-they always say I should write stuff down for a book someday.  I guess it’s all in the way that I tell it to them that they were trying to get me to do something with all this crap I keep telling them.  So, here I am.  Love it or leave it-I guess I am trying it out.  If ya like it, great!  If ya don’t, maybe you will keep on reading it and something will strike you one day and you’ll keep on reading it.

Well, a little bit about me.  I am a 30-something, unemployed teacher.  I teach:  Middle and High School–Language Arts grades 6-12 (primarily), grades 5-9 Language Arts, Science, Math, and Social Studies, and Exceptional Student Education (ESE) grades K-12.  Most recently, I taught in a Juvenile Detention Center for incarcerated boys 13-19, with an average length of stay for 6-9 months.  And that was my first job after graduating from college!  No one can say I don’t challenge myself, right?

Doing things ass-backwards, as my grandma says, has always sorta been my way.  married first, kids second, college third, job 4 months after graduating fourth, now unemployed-not part of the plan.  I live in the Sunshine State near the ocean.  Looking back, whodathunkit?  But if life keeps handing me lemons, there is no more lemonade I can make, so I may be blogging from my car in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot.  Okay, maybe not, Denny’s is warmer and they have Wi-Fi!  JK, but really, something’s gotta give soon.  There is only so much laundry, errands, cooking, and cleaning one can do, really!  There must be some kind of limit.  I do not know how the service industry does it-well, yeah, I do-they get paid.  I get, “where’s my underwear? why didn’t you wash my skinny jeans? why can’t we have tacos? Can you bring my Science notebook to school, cuz we’re having a test today!”  No paycheck for that!  Though, I guess that’s what I signed up for when I had kids and got married-cuz he is really a big, 42-year old kid.  I can’t complain too much, though.  I have a house to live in, food to eat, kids and a husband who love me, even if they can’t get a new Nintendo DS-all the 360 games they want-or a new computer.  I guess I have blogged enough for the time being, not to mention that I am watching my Eagles lose to Arizona right now, I need to yell at the TV some more.  I figure if I am yelling and typing at the same time, some of my frustration will accidentally make it on the page and then I will get in some kind of cyber-world trouble, not meaning to.

Well, everyone take care and I guess I will be writing later.  When I figure out how to tag stuff and make different categories, I will be a little more proficient at this blogging thing.


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